*sigh*

well my life is confusing right now..

i woke up this morning knowing what i wanted to do0 today... i get to school.. and nothing ended up like it was suppose too..but then again does it ever... no.. i guess not. but hey what can i say. im not in controll of anything. all i can do is hope for something good to happen or just sit and wait..

one word to describe today.. sucky..

i try to up date this thing but with myspace.. its hard...

today.. SUCKED....

do you ever feel like you did somthing sooooo stupid and then are left with a feeling that you cant explain? well that happen to me today.. i think i lost my bestfriend in the whole world. i can't even explain what im feeling right now. someone found out something about about my best friend and then asked her about it and blame things on me.. so now.. liike i said.. i am bestfriend-less. i couldnt think all day today being worried about this whole thing. i ask myself why i was so stupid to not see that this person would do this but whatever.. i can just hope that she listens to what happen and understands...

Well ugh yeah.. i hate the word death..

as most of you know my grandpa died.. and i have to miss school for the rest of the week.. i have one good week at school and then i have to miss it.. thats usually how my life goes. all screw up..

well i thought my feelings for a certain person were over.. but then i dont kno what happen.. they just came back yet again.. i was talking to him yesterday and now i wish i could talk to him.. he confuses me.. one min. we hate each other the next we want to be with each other again.. i'm scared.. i think im scared to love him again.. what if it happens again....

well i have mixed feelings about everything right now.. my life, the boy, my grandpa, my family.... everything...

today.. was uber boring....

sat around talked on the phone.. cause stupid me got myself grounded.. *sigh*...... well right now im sitting here waiting for someone exciting to get online and its not happening.. ill just sit and count all the tiles on my kitchen floor.. *sigh*

today...blah...

schools never fun anymore.. actually i hate it.. there is like nothing to look forward too anymore.. *sigh* but whatever.. if i wasnt soo stupid then i probably wouldn't feel this way.. i just feel soo stupid.. how could i let this happen? sometimes i dont even know why i go through with my life.. its just.. confusing.. things arent right. Im not suppose to wake up in the morning not wanting to go to school and not wanting to do anything that i once liked to do.. thats when you know that something is wrong.. and now that i know that something is wrong i dont know what to do about it.. things are just.. *sigh* not right... but hey what is there for me to do..

why was i so stupid?